


Can’t Change Her Mind

by futuresteven (orphan_account)



Series: a diamond in the rough [5]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Connie is a hybrid, F/M, Momswap AU, Steven Universe is Pink Diamond, Steven Universe is a Diamond, gore tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:31:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25270165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/futuresteven
Summary: Steven begins to realize some things due to Connie. White Diamond isn’t too happy about this.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Series: a diamond in the rough [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808644
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Can’t Change Her Mind

**Author's Note:**

> TW: GORE

Why was it so cold?

He lay there motionless. Not even a single word could come out of his mouth. Whenever he tried to speak it would only end up in his lips staying shut.

Slowly, he began to force himself to think.

It was difficult. His mind felt empty. Each thought he had would disappear in mere seconds. Remembering was never an easy thing for him, even if he tried his hardest.

Trying wouldn’t cut it, though. Diamonds had to always succeed. Even a close victory wasn’t enough. If he couldn’t even remember what was happening, then what does that say about him?

And then suddenly, it all hit him. It felt like a train had ran into him while he was crossing the train tracks. Using all his strength, he was able to open his eyes and glance around.

Sure enough, he was laying on the ground. Although his vision was blurry, he saw Pip staring down at him with a concerned expression. This wasn’t the most worried he had ever seen her be, but it was fairly close to being at that amount. She startled when they made eye contact.

“My Diamond…” Her words were soft and gentle. He smiled up at her and she smiled back, even if it was clearly forced. Both of them knew they couldn’t speak too loudly.

She helped him sit up. All around them were various shades of gray, some darker or lighter than others. The source of light in the center of it was what made the entire area be the way it was.e

The source of light wasn’t a lamp. It wasn’t a window, or a mirror, or any kind of glass for that matter. It was  _ her. _

White Diamond stood tall. She was talking down to the ones who were slowly becoming his allies. His heart dropped and he shot a weary glance at Pip. The Pearl knew what he was thinking as well. He had promised to protect and save those people. At the end of the day, only a few people were saved.

Although she was technically his grandmother, Steven could never get used to how haunting her smooth voice was. Every word that came out of her mouth was said carefully, put in a certain tone that would convince others that she was nice. To Homeworld’s loyalists, she was a hero. The savior of Gemkind. But to rebels? It wasn’t as easy to talk to them.

For a moment, the talking stopped. Then, she smiled. “Rise and shine, Pink! It’s still so lovely to see that you're still here with us, starlight. We were beginning to worry,” She tried so hard to seem trustworthy, “Come here, your presence is very much necessary!”

Pip set a hand on his shoulder. However, White Pearl pushed her away and pushed Steven forward, forcing him to stumble onto his knees. 

The room was suddenly much bigger. Kneeling a few feet to his left was ‘Blue Mist Chalcedony’ herself. She looked exhausted, tired, and angry. When they made eye contact he noticed her expression soften a little bit, but he didn’t have the same response. Admittedly, he was  _ mad  _ that she convinced him to help her.

“Now, now,” White leaned down and forced him to sit upright. “That’s no position a Diamond such as yourself should be in! You  _ do  _ want to flaunt your status to lower life forms such as these…  _ rebels,  _ right?”

He straightened his posture. His back hurt. “Y-yes…”

“Good! I’d expect nothing more from you, starlight!” The excitement in her tone almost sounded convincing but he forced himself to stay strong. “Now, I believe it’s time you explain some things before I properly punish these four.”

Four. Connie, Lapis, Jasper, and Peridot.

The ones who he promised to let free. The ones who he risked his life for. One wrong step and they could all die, including  _ him.  _

White’s Pearl stared down at him, a wide grin on her face. He felt threatened by her presence alone.

“Ever since you were made a Diamond, you were given simple rules to follow. Some of these rules have been repeated since you first joined the authority,  _ Pink.  _ You yourself even know them all of them by heart,” Her smile twisted into a frown, “So  _ why  _ did you not only go to the Kindergartens but to the Zoo as well? Those places have been banned from your presence for years now!  **Don’t** tell me this is another of your  _ silly _ games, Pink. Hide and seek, maybe?”

How had she known? He glanced at Connie who only shrugged in response before looking back down at her shoes. No excuses came to mind. Instead, he tried to be as logical as possible.

“I was bored,” Nervously, he bit his lip, “Homeworld’s boring and there’s nothing to do! I wanted to see what my mom left behind because I want to be as close to her as I possibly can be… and I don’t mean physically.” He rested a hand on his Gem.

She quirked a brow and took a seat on her throne, crossing her legs as she shook her head slowly, “My, my. You’ve always been a liar, but I never thought you would go as far as to lie to me, starlight.”

The words made him pause. Whenever he was in here he felt transparent. White could see right through him. At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if she knew his biggest fear before  _ he _ even knew it.

“Pink Diamond helping a group of  _ defective  _ Gems? How would your mother feel about you ruining her legacy like this?”

Connie suddenly stepped forward, “HEY! Never use someone’s dead relatives against them!”

A glimmer of amusement sparkled in White’s eyes. “This Blue Mist Chalcedony really  _ is _ cute, isn’t she? Thinking she could scare a Diamond when she looks as hideous as  _ that.” _

“My name is  _ Connie!” _

Steven wasn’t listening. What White said to him rang in his ears, repeating over and over again without end. Tears filled his eyes and he stared down at the ground, balling his fist. 

She was right.

His mother probably didn’t want him to ruin his reputation.

Next to his status as a Diamond, he had his title as “Pink’s mistake.” If it weren’t for him, she could possibly still be here. She could have been successful and powerful and maybe even take White’s place someday.

Why  _ did  _ she have him?

He was a waste of life. If he couldn’t even do his purpose correctly then he already failed. 

“Well, Pink. I did tell you, didn’t I? All you had to do was follow the simple rules and you could have everything you've ever dreamed of. Follow the rules and your ‘mother’ won’t regret having you.” Her smile had returned.

The Crystal Gems, including Connie, were now surrounded by Quartzes. They were trying to shout to him, but he could only focus on himself and the other Diamond.

Why couldn’t he hear them?

White Pearl’s grin only grew. She leaned down and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t need to do anything else. Just do as you’re told, that’s all. However, you  _ will  _ need to be punished for your actions.”

That was what made Steven shout: “No!”

Everyone was different when it came to being scared. Connie, for example, only got more confident when her fears stood in her way. Pip, on the other hand, grew far too anxious for her own good.

But for Steven? His fears were masked by anger.

White Diamond’s smile twisted into a scowl. This made him gulp nervously, but he was going to stand his ground. By ‘punishment,’ he knew that she meant locking him away in a dark room for months at a time. It was the same horrible thing that his mother had to go through not too long ago. While in there, he would receive little to no food or water. It was Pip who snuck in a good, healthy amount of resources for him.

“Pink wouldn’t want you to say that.”

Any determination he gained quickly faded away. She was right. His mother never would want him to be a brat. Worries clawed at his thoughts and anxiety ate away at him. 

_ Why was he never good enough? _

From the other side of the room, he could hear her. Blue Mist Chalcedony. She tried to be helpful, she attempted to make him feel prideful, but he didn’t want this. His Gem didn’t want that. It snapped into action and, within seconds, he wasn’t there anymore.

Grass. He was standing on grass. It was soft under his feet. The sky above was dark. Stars twinkled at him, letting him know of their presences. 

After hastily glancing around, he noticed multiple things. First of all, there were flowers on the sidelines. Hibiscuses, if he were correct. While his mother was oftentimes compared to roses, he was compared to hibiscuses. His hair color reflected them greatly.

Second of all, he wasn’t alone. Tons of Gems were there, fighting each other with pure  _ hatred  _ in their eyes. When he saw a Spirit Quartz get shattered by an Amethyst, time seemed to stop. 

“My Diamond.”

The voice alerted him. He turned to face the speaker, only to pause when he saw  _ Pip.  _ She looked far different, but anyone could recognize her if they knew what to look for. Instead of her hair being in long pigtails, it was tied in two buns. Her uniform resembled that of his mother's outfit. If he was correct, she was wearing an old uniform. 

However, the most perplexing thing was that her eyes were both there. Not even a single crack could be seen.

“I suggest that we take our leave,” She suggested, folding her hands on her lap with a small smile, “This is no place where a Diamond such as yourself should be!”

For an unknown reason, words bubbled up his throat and spilled out of his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say them! “No, we can’t leave now! You know what would happen,” A sigh escaped his lips, “We made a commitment. This cycle must end.”

“How could we ever put a stop to it?” the Pearl asked. “Fate carries things on from one person to the next. Maybe it’s for the better that we just accept it…”

“It needs to stop… they shouldn’t be hurt for who they are, Pearl. Now please be quiet, I need time to think.”

Pip frowned. Clearly, she was nervous about  _ something.  _ She saluted, “Of course, my Diamond.”

That’s when he saw them.

Or more specifically:  _ her. _

She was extremely tall. Her long, wavy grayish-blue hair fell down to her upper thigh. Although her bangs covered her right eye, her gray left eye was visible. Along with having dark blue, plump lips she had light grayish-blue skin. 

Before she could get a full glimpse of her —  _ Blue Mist Chalcedony  _ — he was forced back into reality.

The Crystal Gems were fighting the Quartz guards again. Among seeing Connie’s weapon his eyes widened. It was a  _ VERY  _ large two handed blade. The blade itself was pale blue while the hilt was dark gray. If White didn’t believe she had a Gem before, she sure as hell did now. No normal human would be able to pick up a weapon of that size.

White Pearl was holding onto him with an iron grip. Pip stood on the opposite side of her, watching the battle with dismay.

_ ‘...This cycle must end.’ _

The memory replayed in his head. What ‘cycle’? Clearly, this was one of his mother’s memories. But what could she mean by ‘cycle’?

_ ‘Fate carries things on from one person to the next…’ _

He knew this was true. That’s why he was considered a Diamond in the first place, after all.

Then, he focused on Blue Mist Chalcedony’s appearance. She really was gorgeous, although she paled in comparison to Connie. He couldn’t help but wonder why one of her eyes was covered. Sometimes things could be odd in his dream. Maybe he was overthinking it, but the wave of apprehension was too strong for him to not look out for any signs it was reflecting his reality. 

Pip was fine. If anything, she just looked like she didn’t want to be here. White Pearl and Steven’s presences seemed to comfort her a little bit, but it was no surprise that she wasn’t the type to enjoy a good fight.

He looked at the Gems now. His breath hitched. Jasper seemed to be cracked, judging by her form’s odd glitching. Peridot has been poofed and her Gem was being carried by Lapis, who was still staying strong but was slowly starting to tire. A familiar brunette was pushed to the ground by one of the guards and, with a horrified expression, Steven was forced to watch as the Carnelian rammed into her arm with her weapon.

Red spilled from the wound. Connie grunted in pain. Lapis called out to her, but was far too busy to be of formal service. Steven glanced off to the side, the butterflies in his stomach only making the whole scenario worse. Don’t they realize that, in this predicament, White Diamond could very easily kill  _ all  _ of them? It was almost like she  _ wanted  _ them to suffer. This was a side of her that Steven had heard about multiple times, but he had never  _ seen _ it before.

Hesitantly, he pulled out of the Pearl’s grasp. She grabbed at him again, only to be knocked back when his Gem lit up and he pushed her. Of course he regretted it right after, but he was supposed to be a perfect epitome of Gem society. Diamonds couldn’t look back.

Instead, he focused on walking forward. White Diamond noticed that he was no longer in the spot he was in just a few moments ago. Her eyes widened when she saw her Pearl laying on the floor and Pip at her side, reassuring her gently.

“Pink! What is the  _ meaning  _ of this?!” She glowered down at  _ Steven.  _ He didn’t reply.

His heart pounded when Connie fell to the side again. Time was running out and all he could focus on was saving her. He went with his gut instinct this time and reached her in a matter of mere seconds. It wasn’t like him to use his super speed, but this time seemed necessary.

The brunette stared up at him with wide eyes when he placed her down a few feet away. Time was back at its normal pace now. 

“Steven? You… you saved-”

_ “PINK DIAMOND,”  _ White didn’t just sound mad. She sounded  _ pissed,  _ “Move out of the way now and your punishment won’t last as long!”

Hesitation.

Connie’s eyes were full of fear. It killed him to see her look so terrified. He wanted nothing more than to lean down to heal her wounds, but he knew that he had no choice.

_ ‘...they shouldn’t be hurt for who they are, Pearl…’ _

This. 

White Pearl dragged him a few feet away from Connie.

This isn’t what mom would have wanted.

White Diamond stood up, her eyes narrowed and her lips pulled into a scowl.

He tried to move. The Pearl’s grip was too strong.

His vision got blurry. Was he  _ crying? _

_ Mom? What would you have wanted me to do? _

For a moment: nothing happened. 

The tallest Diamond of all shot a beam of light at Connie. That’s when he knew he couldn’t sit on the sidelines.

This time, he threw the Pearl backwards and ran to her. When he finally reached Connie he was hit. Fortunately, the beam wasn’t too strong. However, not only tears were pouring out of his eyes now.

Red ran down his right cheek and fell to the floor next to his feet. He only could see with his left, but he didn’t need to worry about himself. Tears and blood fell as he took a deep breath.

“My Diamond!” Pip gasped, covering her mouth with her hand as she rushed over. 

He didn’t care about her right now. Connie was still in pain behind him. Hopelessly, he looked up at White with his one eye and held his arms out to shield her.

“P-please,” He sniffled, “Mom would have never wanted this! She wanted peace, not pain but that’s all… they just wanted to return home!”

White Diamond’s eyes were wide and she was frozen in horror. Not only was it the blood, but it was the look in his eyes and the expression on his face.

Pink Diamond. Those were her eyes. The way her transparent pink tears used to roll down her cheeks was greatly similar to what was happening to Steven right now.

A hint of sadness crossed the Diamond’s expression. She turned to her Pearl, “Pearl, take these four and put them in the prison again. Actually, arrest Steven for now as well. I have some thinking to do.”

Steven’s eye widened, “Wait-”

“Now, Pearl. Guards, help.”

The Gems did as instructed. That resting period was spent in a tight, unclean cell. He was too scared of opening his eyes, but at that point he knew what was going to happen. At least his left eye wasn’t too bad by itself.

**Author's Note:**

> i am SO SORRY


End file.
